Sometime the word success when dealing with a child who has been severely traumatized doesn't seem the right word to use. Over the last 15 years we have helped many many children. But often, late at night, it is those children who came to us that we wished we could have done more for...that we think of.
She was nine years old. She was thin and malnourished. Her mother made her eat after everyone else had eaten...she got what was left...along with the family dog. Mom felt that she was Satan's spawn and encouraged her boyfriend and his 14 year old son to physically abuse her. Her arms and legs were scarred but her mind was scarred more.
She did not speak or attempt to play with the other children. She did not respond to the staff or show any interest in anything...not even tv. Two weeks after arriving, an AmeriCorps Team came to do some work at the home. One AmeriCrops volunteer made a breakthrough with this little girl and for a week or two she began to open up and become a child again. Then...it was time for the volunteer to leave. As the AmeriCorps van pulled out of our driveway, the little girl threw herself down on the lawn and began to stuff grass and dirt into her mouth. That evening she tried to hang herself with a cord on the blind in her room. We immediately took her to our local mental health hospital where she spent several months and then was transferred to a longer care placement. We lost touch with her...but we have not forgotten her.
He only stayed with us for a week. He was carried into our shelter by the social worker and placed on the couch. He could not walk because he had a broken leg, pelvis and collar bone and was in a body cast. His face still showed signs of bruising. His eyes haunt me till this day...they asked the question... why?
She was about ten years old. She had been with us just one day. We were getting ready to take her to register in school. She ran into the the bedroom and hid in back of the bed. Our assistant shelter manager, Valerie finally coaxed her out from behind the bed and asked her why she was afraid of going to school. Her answer was simple. " I am afraid that the teachers and other kids will know what "he" made me do."
The three children had been living under a rental trailer in a local trailer park. They went around the park asking for food. They were sleeping on cardboard boxes under the trailer because mom, who was a heavy drug and alcohol user would bring home men and "party" for days...leaving them on their own. The oldest girl tried her best...but finally someone reported their situation and they were brought to us. Mom has a "plan" she was suppose to adhere to so she could get her kids back. She never even tried. After months of failing the random drug test she didn't even bother showing up at court and the court terminated her parental rights. We had to inform the children and we told the 14 year old girl first. That night, on the way home from a Sea Wolves hockey game in the car the 14 year old explained to her two younger siblings; "Our mom loves us, but she doesn't love us enough to stop drinking and using drugs. She can't stop it. We aren't ever going back to live with her. She's our mom but we need to find someone else who will love us and take care of us until we can take care of ourselves." It won't do no good crying about it...it ain't going to change nothing."
At the time...it seemed a harsh way to tell such young kids that their mom cared more about using drugs and partying...than them. The kids did cry...and it didn't change anything except that 14 year old...who suddenly became "mom" .
For all the children ..who are not loved and cherished...we pray for you.
Terry Latham
Director
